For the past three summers, I held a job as a counselor in a day camp run by the city. I wasn't a regular counselor, though I took care of the kids before and after the regular camp day's events, went with them on field trips, and substituted for counselors when they called in sick or otherwise bailed. I called myself a child wrangler, or all-purpose babysitter. Anyway, it was a very unique experience, because while I've babysat children before, this was the first time I ever found myself responsible for the welfare of over a dozen children at once. Oy. Anyway, it's a very enjoyable and fulfilling occupation for an 18-year-old with no qualifications for a more prestigious job and who loves kids, which I do. However, when you're dealing with that many kids at once, you learn that little people are not to be underestimated. You show weakness, and they will destroy you. Therefore, you must be prepared to bark at them occasionally. Several dozen children enrolled in Kreative Kids Camp this summer heard the following lines directed at them quite frequently:

"Don't run in this room!"

"We're not doing anything else until you all line up!"

"Get off the stage!"

"What did I tell you?!"

"You're not supposed to be in the closet!" (No, not THAT closet, you dirty pedophile)&

"If you need to go to the bathroom or get a drink, do it now!"

"Thank you, dear."

"Yes, you may sit on my lap."

"It is (insert child's name)'s turn to talk."

"Please, one at a time!"

Eh, I'll probably think of some more later.